I'll be the first to admit the thought of the world ending makes me a little bitchy, especially when that's all I hear about all around me. Quite honestly, it scares the living bejesus out of me (the reason for the above mentioned bitchiness). It has ever since I was a small child, and my father would always talk about it, the Rapture.
He couldn't wait for it to happen, and to a child (four or five years old and older), to hear your farther talk about this thing called the Rapture is terrifying. About fire and brimstone falling from the sky, the dead rising, people disappearing, then hell on earth beginning. About people with the mark of the beast coming into your homes and decapitating you if you don't take the mark as well. After hearing about it so much, after having it all but pounded into my head, there's nothing that terrifies me more. Still, to this day. It's the same for demons - it's quite frightening to hear that if I'm not careful demons will appear in the middle of the night in my room to make me a believer. Apparently, they've seen demons before, though for some other reasons.
After I was old enough to make my own opinions, form my own beliefs, that's when the bitterness and the resentment started. And it continued to grow all the way through my teen years until I wanted near nothing to do with my parents beliefs. Out of their home now, and with Frankie, I'm slowly growing out of that resentment, that bitterness, and letting it go, allowing myself some sort of faith in something other than science. The Rapture, though - my feelings toward it haven't changed. It still scares the living shit out of me, I never want to talk about it, thus enters the bitchiness.
With all this said, I've noticed a common theme in my writing - destruction, darkness, evil, death, the apocalypse. All the things that truly frighten me the most, all the things the constantly reoccur in my dreams. Why write about something so extensively that keeps you up at night sometimes, that constantly haunts your dreams, that petrifies you more than anything? Then again, why write about abuse, self-destruction, depression, molestations - all the other things I strive so desperately to understand the concept behind, the reason people do it, and the victims reactions to it?
For me, writing is more than a fun hobby or job aspiration, just as some of my blogs are. It's a way to understand, to heal, to cope. I wouldn't say it's a crutch. I would say it's the next best thing to Dr. Phil.
Out of time, so until next time -
Katie S. Taylor
He couldn't wait for it to happen, and to a child (four or five years old and older), to hear your farther talk about this thing called the Rapture is terrifying. About fire and brimstone falling from the sky, the dead rising, people disappearing, then hell on earth beginning. About people with the mark of the beast coming into your homes and decapitating you if you don't take the mark as well. After hearing about it so much, after having it all but pounded into my head, there's nothing that terrifies me more. Still, to this day. It's the same for demons - it's quite frightening to hear that if I'm not careful demons will appear in the middle of the night in my room to make me a believer. Apparently, they've seen demons before, though for some other reasons.
After I was old enough to make my own opinions, form my own beliefs, that's when the bitterness and the resentment started. And it continued to grow all the way through my teen years until I wanted near nothing to do with my parents beliefs. Out of their home now, and with Frankie, I'm slowly growing out of that resentment, that bitterness, and letting it go, allowing myself some sort of faith in something other than science. The Rapture, though - my feelings toward it haven't changed. It still scares the living shit out of me, I never want to talk about it, thus enters the bitchiness.
With all this said, I've noticed a common theme in my writing - destruction, darkness, evil, death, the apocalypse. All the things that truly frighten me the most, all the things the constantly reoccur in my dreams. Why write about something so extensively that keeps you up at night sometimes, that constantly haunts your dreams, that petrifies you more than anything? Then again, why write about abuse, self-destruction, depression, molestations - all the other things I strive so desperately to understand the concept behind, the reason people do it, and the victims reactions to it?
For me, writing is more than a fun hobby or job aspiration, just as some of my blogs are. It's a way to understand, to heal, to cope. I wouldn't say it's a crutch. I would say it's the next best thing to Dr. Phil.
Out of time, so until next time -
Katie S. Taylor
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